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i simply wish for genuine simplicity in
my already derived complicated lifestyle.
i just want sth unreal.serenity.
i want to learn new things serendipitously.
it's rather tormenting to realise the fact tt
we have to part with our adolescent life
and build onto a whole new beginning.
e very fact of parting with ur childhood hurts.
i just wanna remain e kid i am in me.
and nvr change in any way or how sighs.
i love being who i was as a child.
for with each yr tt i supposedly MATURED;
just made me fl even more dolorous.
like just so ironical.i'm supposed to be happier.
as i'm getting older and maturing and more experienced.
but all i fl deep within is emptiness;just a hollow vase.
nt filled with anything of value nor sense at all.
i fl lost and solicitously insane.
i just simply cannot keep my head in place.
it's all over.to fl lost in my own territorial atmosphere is
simply delirious and infuriating.FCUK it.
i just nd comfort in my own serenity.
i just want to be loved and loved openly.
i just wish for someone to hug me and let me know all will gd agn.
i just wish for someone who ain't selfish and who
wants me for me not just for what i bring home @ e end of e month.
i want someone to love me;
not for e money,nor e fame bt for who i rly am inside.
it's really killing me inside.i fl hazardous in my own world.


i fl like i'm suffering from delirium or sth.
a state whereby my mental confusion gradually
increases its states over time and fluctuates in intensity and
there's no way i can turn in to normal.
i fl so delusional and paranoid.
like noone loves me.noone cares.noone really bothers.
like i'm simply here to please everyone but myself.



DEAR GOD
i want a fairytale-d life.
i need a prince charming to drop by
with their horse carriage and
bring me away to a place where
only happiness lives ever after.
a place when only smiles and laughter
fills up e whole atmosphere.
where noone will ever wanna run away
but to stay in that serenity of a place.
i just simply want to live happy.
IS THAT A LOT TO ASK?
i want serenity!peace and quiet.
and i wanna be appreciated for who i am.
i wanna be respected not taken advantage of.
i wanna be look up upon as someone beautiful
not tt fucking fat and ugly girl i fl now:(
i wanna be special in every way.
i just want a guy to hold me in their arms
and he would proudly tell his dude that i am e one.
e one he'd been waiting for all his life.
and e moment he kisses me.
my heart will melt like nth else matters.
i just wanna be someone's someone.


haiz.i guess it's emotionally tragic to grow up.
i wanna be e lil princess everyone adores.
i'm really irritatinglly confusing ryte now.
i just simply wanna be tt spoilt lil pampered girl
tt my dad loves to protect and stnd up for.
not this slut tt even my parents has loss their words to describe.
this SLUT who takes things for granted.
who never noe how to appreciate what god had given her.
a mother's greatest loves and a loving(but crazy) family.
e SLUT who always wants more of everything.
who nvr noe e meaning of enough and to be grateful.
simply cos she's just not happy with what she alrdy has.
this slut who does rubbish.for e fun of it.
who has her tongue pierced for ****** reasons.
what happened to that child my parents brought up?
she was much more disciplined,respectable and emotionally strong.
that girl was gorgeous.she's e love of everyone's eyes.
what have i change myself to?a TOTAL SLUT:(

i re-edit e whole pic.
LOLS.this is my virgin attempt.
cool or wad?LOLS.
for e template thingyy.hehs.
so been idling myself @ hme.
didn't wish to go to work.
just felt restless and
incomplete.tt stupid feeling
nvr go away.it seems to hurt
far too much.all this weird
happenings.all this feelings in me.
they came in all @ e wrong tyme.
e feeling of being used.
e feeling of being un-cared for.
e feeling of being a listener but noone listens.
e feeling of frustrations when ppl just blame u.
e feeling of being controlled over.
e feeling of being un-loved.
e feeling of being neglected.
e feeling of being too submissive tt others are taking advantage.
e feeling of being taken for granted.
e feeling of surpressed pain tt noone noes.
e feeling of being down under.
e feeling of fearing everything incl self.
e feeling of temptation to do self-inflicted pain agn.
e feeling of not at home.
e feeling of hurt and sorrow.
e feeling of uncertainty.
e feeling of being misjudged.
e feeling of being totally outta place.
e feeling of frustrations and infuriation.
they just keep haunting me till my very dreams
run a hundred miles away.
and all tt was in my slumber was nytemares.
so i'd chose rather not to slp than to slp and
end up waking up soaking my pillows with my tears.
i think i bottled too much emotions in me.
tt i bcame this emo sh*tt.
it's rly infuriating to be feeling this way.
i want my life to be an exhilarating ride.
not a dysphoric lifestyle.
i want it NOT to be typical.
but a special one with meaning.
but e reason to why it is meaningful to my life
takes FARRR too long to decide on whether
i am or am i not e FINAL decision of HIS!
sighs.sadly.but i'm willing to wait somemre.
for it doesn't make much of a difference
if i were to wait or not to wait.

i miss us.
sighs..
e three of us.
like all of us have
totally diff purposes in life now.
tt we're all so distant):
each occupied with our own
responsibilities.sighs.
who says it's easy to mantain a
friendship?try having it.
only then will u undrstd.
issues tt cn destroy a friendship.
envious ppl cn also play a part.
i miss those tymes in SAC.
where we'll mit everyday.
lols.fytes and misunderstanding
plays e most impt role
tt binded us even closer
to each other.i hope tt bind
will nvr loosen and tt
we'll ALWAYS have each
other no matter rain or shine (:

hahas..my raya clothes(:
hmmmms.tt was rather
supposed to be updated long ago.
but WTH(:

so much happened in such short
period of tyme ):
why is my dad shoo-ing me off):
he like cnt wait to see me
married.sighs..i dun wish to be.
arghhhs.will arranged marriage be
prosperous?arghs.i rly dun wish to
noe nor anything can.as i said
in my previous entry,
even if i marry this mr whoever.
he'll just have me physically but
emotionally;i've given e key to
someone else.it's like whatever anyone
do will nvr change tt fact.rly it wun.
DAD!don't even think abt it please.
just plain forget it aites?


anyways.THURSDAY was gr8(:
mr BIMBO aka rajen krishna aka jeremie.
is such a BLONDE!real blondie!
real funny noe he..
made me and theo laughed non-stop.
hahahahas.so cute..hmmmms.
enjoyed myself(:

this is such a gloomy day for me ):
i had a fab 5 days stay @ my bestyy's place.
those days rly made my days(:
i swear i nvr had so much fun for such a long tyme.
they were really gr8.everyone was.
i'd love to stay forever.but well;
true as it is,it's hme tt i belong in.haiz.
supposedly thou i fl mre @ hme @ besty's place.
but heck;i'm nt borned there..
so e bday surprise went gr8.
everything was fyne rly(: bits of hiccups
was considered normal i suppose XD
thanks to lala and thurston 4 e marvelous feast(:


i came hme today.sighs.dad asked
me simple questions.
things he'd asked b4 but i will run away
or avoid e subject totally..
but now i got nowhere to hide.
he asked me;"nora.tt guy is nice.i want u to accept him"
AAWWWWW so sweet ryte?
but fcuk.e guy isn't e one i've always yearn
for nor love.sighs.dad
dun u get it?this is nt e tyme 4 arranged marriage.
i rly love theophilus yeo hui long.
and nth u do nor say cn change my mind abt tt.
and pls dun drive me crazy;cos simply to think
of it itsel hurts): how cld u be so cruel
so as to arrange my marriage when e truth
was out alrdy tt i love hum so much tt it hurts.
i dun wish to cry no more.
how cn u even think of marrying me to someone else.
i dun want.i'm too young.please don't ):


sighs.dad;i pray to god up above tt u're only thinking but didn;t...
mean to rly do it.sighs.

it's weird sometymes;
when u sit dwn and think.
abt ur past.
and at tymes u terribly
miss bits of its.
but well things tt made u sad
seems to make u happy now.
and thinks tt made u happy
seems to make u sad now.
things tt used to tke ur breath away;
only seems to disgust u to e max now.

ppl whom u tot u cld survive without;
turn out to be e major reason u're still breathing nw.
ppl whom u tot was ur every heartbeat;
turn out to be those arses tt deserves bitch slaps or sth.
i mean it's just contradicting how life works.
it's like a never ending roller coaster ryde.
u may nvr noe when e next plunge is coming in.
all u noe is;it's smack ryte to ur face.
they say things happens @ e least u expect it to.
hmmms.and when u've acquired e strength to
let it all go.it all cme crashing back.
like fcuk.it's rly not worth to be crying and suffering.
whn i noe he's worth all my pain and sufferings.
for he's not like any other guys out there.
he's diff.there's always tt outstanding factor tt
made u fall for tt special one.
he's e one who can make u go AWWW~~~
he's e one who can make u go ohhhhh~~~
tt kinda stuffs.
and u noe no matter wad happen;
nth can ever seems to make u stay angry with them.
and everything thing they do seem to make u smile.
and grin for no rhyme nor reason.

tts when u noe u're in love;
when nth u do cn stop nor prevent
u from falling each tyme ur eyes meet.
patience is said to pay.
hoping it does for us.
i love him a yr a go.a moment ago.a minute ago.
a yr later.a moment later.and years to come(:

this is scary shitts.
my worst nytemare came true.
my dad figured out
tt i went out with theo and everything
and i'm pretty sure tt he thinks all e
while i'm nt with my bestyy(which i am)
instead i'm with him.i'm sooo
gonna be dead..but he sounded
rather kind.hmmmms.like
he said i wanna mit him.
so if anything happens i noe who
to find.u're my eldest daughter.
i want e best for u.don't do this kinda thing.
i'm okay with u going out with a guy
seriously.just tt i wanna see who.tts all.
urghs.i nvr rly trust my daddy.
so i rly dunnoe.dear god.help me.

Nora
Simpleton
Love-less
21 to be!

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