blog,
Sunday, September 30, 2007
ohgodhelp.hurhur.my daddy not working @ nyte.
urghhhs.i cnt reach home late lerrs.-sobs..
aiyahhhs.i dun want leiiiss.i want to go out till
late @ nytes.hurhur.mean i cnt go clubbing anymore.
god.crazy-ness.**sobbsss..arghhs.dad go bck to work.
but pls leave my erms mos.st james.devils & dbl o.
thank uu.hahahas.other clubs lahhs.unknown places.
ok ok??hurhur..daddd go work.go work.i demand u
to go work.**sobs.i hate hate hate this lahhhs.
hrmph.anyways...today was rather nice=)))
to rul:cheer up uu.& thanks 4 always reading my blog ehh.hahas.to teo:we shall go thru this together.shall we?
Friday, September 28, 2007
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
The Bottom Line
Today you discover a new type of romance. Evaluate whether you want to pursue it.
In Detail
Connections can happen in unlikely places -- and with unlikely people. Today, in circumstances beyond your control, you may find yourself talking to someone you never would have considered talking to before -- and it could lead to a new type of romance. You possess a magnetism that will only grow in the coming weeks. Take people seriously when they flirt with you, and give them a chance to show you what they can do. There is a real value in giving people the benefit of the doubt.
ok so i ask.what's e meaning of this?hahas.
i shld pursue wad my heart wants me to.
hahas.errs.who would flirt ehhs.hahas.
whoooaahhhhss.i gt magnetic power.how
cool..eh wait wait.so agn.am i attracting a butch
or a guy??hahas.eeee..e only ppl whom i dun
wish to talk to or nvr tot of talking to b4 wld
be some of my ex-es ehhhs.pls sehhhs.i had
enough past 4 nw.i want someone incredible-y
NEWW!!!plsss.hahas.anyways.i am slowly
picking myself up=))i cn do it.though i cnt stop
myself from loving u.i cn save myself from heartaches.
oh dearrr.u just dunnoe how much it aches.but
i'll surpress it deep in.i shall only let my smile stay intact.
but i hope e tears gets hidden well enough bhind
those smiles=))) look deep enuff & u'll see e beaut
y in me.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
life today is rather tooott...i shall learn to appreciatelil things in life.only then cn i pick myself up after a major fall.u're my swit addiction.i'm dangerously in love.& tts badd..urgh...pull me outta this mess before i fall in any deeper..but weird as it is.i'm loving this.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
1. the reason you are where you are rite now?
* erms.is there any way i cn get out of my hse @ errs 2 am?hahas.with my daddy sleepy ryte there.hrmph.
2. the reason you wake up in the morning?
* to mkn sahur=)or to pray.or if there's skul.
3. the reason you love your favourite song?
* well.some cos it reminded me of someone.while some it's just random-ness.& they sound gd=))
4. the reason the way you felt today?
* sadddedd.cos i watched tt touching hindi movies.yeahs they make me cry.i get emotional unnecesarily trust me.
5. the reason when youre falling in love with someone?
* definitely e swit-ness.i cn just fall 4 tt part=)
6. the reason you cry?
* cos i just fell out of love.or i found out ppl cheating on me..or my heart was being ripped apart to hear unexpected news.to lose e person i truly love.
7. the reason you always bought the same kind stuff?
* i dun fancy unnecessary changes.
8. the reason you went out on saturday nite?
* =)i dun love.i enjoy my mondays & wednesdays=))
9. the reason you laugh out loud?
* well.wad cn i say.i'm easily amused=))
10. the reason you wake up late on weekend?
* if skul tyme.like hello.pls arr.everyday i HAD to wake up early.so weekends.gimme a break pls.if holidays.it's all e same tyming.unless i rly fl too tired.
11. the reason you read a magazine?
* outta boredom.or just plain curious.or sth catchy=))
12. the reason you watch television?
* erms.nth else to do besides tt.hahas.to catch my fav shows=))
13. the reason you yell all the time?
* erms.my siblings just refuse to listen.grrs.it's frustrating.& ppl who just refuse to undrstd.
14. the reason you hate someone so much?
* well.i learn not to hate.too strong of a word.i dislike=))
15. the reason you throw stuff from your closet?
* too old.cnt fit.fading away.too much memories.
17. the reason you gossip?
* it's a girl thangg baby=))
18. the reason you call someone late at nite?
* when i'm superlyyy down & need someone to knock sense into me.tts when i'm suicidal.
19. the reason you go to grocery store?
* to get e essentials lahhs.
20. the reason you play hard to get when someone is chasing you?
* to see how far tt person is willing to go 4 my sake.& how deep is their love.for i hve hurt too deep.so it's only far tt i don't make hasty wrong moves.dun u think?
oh wells.i'm just plain bored.
today's life is as usual=))
went over cousin's place.
then baby-sitted..hahas.
while i baby-sitted..
my dears god daughters
all slept.so i watched hindi
movies to occupy my tyme.
mujhse dosti karoge is e love pls.
i teared throughout e movie pls.
so e saddd...like erms.i dunnoe
ehhh.lyk mcm sooo e switt.awww.
hahas.now i wanna ask ppls.
between friendship & love.which
wld u choose?wld u rather
sacrifice love 4 friendship or
sacrifice friendship 4 love?hurhur.
hahas.oh wells.matters of e hearts.
are really incoherent some tymes..
well.but todayy i'm just super emo.
super lethargic.super lost.maybe
cos that person cldn't msg me
e whole dayy.mcm soo sadd sehs.=((
ohwells.anyways.saya sayang kamu.hahas
ok that was just random-ness=))
i love love love love someone
hahahas.kk kidding.it's too early to say.
i'll give it more tyme.it cld be yet
another crush or sthhh.but all i cn say
is i cn feel e difference in this one=)
ok ok..i shall stop here.hahas.too tired.
in life.it's either u sit & lament ur sorrows.
or u pick urself up to be a stronger person
despites e sorrows.i wanna be strong.
though it hurts to be.but i'll try..
make me strong baby.u're my sweet-est
addiction please.love thou shall say is still
worth the lonnnnnggggg waittttt=)))
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
as e colour is.it's gloomy today.
i had too much in mind.maybe
too lil tyme to think.@ tymes
when things just don't work
ur way.it just made me succumb
to tear-ing once again.as much as
it isn't sth tt i wish 4 to happen.
but it just do.i cried not because i'm
a weakling.but i cried because i needed
to let it all out in one way or another.
i cried to let my emotions known somewhat.
it really hurts so bad having to endure
lots of afflictions & agony tt i surpressed
deep within.i nvr wish to let be known.
never wish to let ppl see thru my smile.
but it just happens.& i hve no profiency
in keeping my feelings subdue alwayss...
they do surface when my patience & aches
cnt be withstand already.when too much
hurts that kills me softly.it's deadly as it does
its job ever so cunningly.trust me.u just nvr noe.
it came.and hit u ever so badd.i cried a tear or 2.
cos i need to let it go somewhat.kai said it's dumb
to cry.yes i admit it's true.i shldn't be sitting
ard lamenting on my pathetic lyf.but instead
to do sth to it that will benefit me...as in this world
it still shld be i,myself & i.when u're buried.nobody
comes alongside u.u're in it alone.u face god's judgement
alone.so why u nd friends 4?when in e end it comes down
to u alone.urself.& u.yes kai.tt too i admit.tapi 4
me.i just noe tt i did find a cry to laugh & cry with me..
i do.i hve her still till now.and for tt friendship matters
alot.yes.i won't resort to quitting skul.it's dumb.sighs.
maybe i ought to seek professional help.yes.i do hve
e brains.e intellects tt got me this far.but @ tymes
to me havings e looks is just as important.sighs.though
it cnt get u too far.but it still gets u somewhere.got what i
meant?sighs.yes i admit.i blamed it all on GOD.i blamed Him
4 always making life so miserable 4 me.cos i don't possess
e ideal looks.the perfect body.e lustrous skin.e perfect eye
colour.e pouty lips.e luscious sensation.all i am not.god tke
away what i just began to love.and leave me with nth but
grief & agony.i always ponders over why am i always unlucky?
and also god nvr blessed me with a gr8 life.to hve a perfect
family.to hve responsible & reliable family.sighs.instead
he gave me monstrous siblings who just wldn't listen.though
technically they are my blood..but ppl who are just niece &
nephews were obediently listening to me.it hurts u noe.to hve
siblings as such.@ tymes i just don't wish to acknowledge them
cos they literally embarrassed me with their michief.that
well got too handy for me to take things to my stride.how much
tt ripped my ego as a sister.when ppl give me those stares.
"eee e sister useless one.don't even noe how 2 discipline kids".
mcm very e sakit hati ok?and ppl they just fcuking know how
to look.but NVR help.urghhh.give them e job of a bitch.trust me
they handled it like pro.give them e job to help & be a good samaritan
they all shoot off all ways.urghh.it's painstaking to know that u're
just being watched by useless eyes.tt know how to bitch but not
be a kind soul to lend a helping hand.arghhs.my siblings cn seriously
drive me to an early grave.sheesh.i honestly say.i rather tke cre
of other kids than my own flesh & blood.sorry.i noe i noe.i shldn't
say all this.it just makes me badd in terms of religion.like i'm going
against god.sighs.i'm nt.but it gets frustrating when what u want
isn't being granted.but more burdens are being put on ur shoulders.
sighs.i'm sorry.i ought not to be lamenting abt life.but here i am still
ranting & ranting.sheesh.anyways.i hope things just go bck to
normal.i just hope it was all a nytemare.tt i'll wake up from tmrw.
sighs.how much it kills to love.gosh..
to KAI:thanks once agn.4 listening to my rants & knocking sense into me agn & agn.
to nadd:thanks 4 caring dear.much appreciated=))
Monday, September 24, 2007
boredom killing 4 me is utter weirdness.hahas.
what i did to kill my boredom was to make my sisters up..i dolled them up..to me they lookpretty.what's ur sayy?and of crse i did my camwhoring2=))but ofcrse i wun put mine=))shyy lahh.hahas..nk tgk.friends go friendster.i'll upload it soon ok?anyways..i was sooo bored tt i make thempose all 4 me..hahs.i love them lahhhs.they also vainpot.like sister=))hahas.anyways.today dun fl like blogging much..oh today i made newfriend thru nadira.erms.leo.=))whoooaahhhh.i got newbitch-ing partner pls..hahas.kalaupasal si dektu i think we cld hve gone all nyte...urghhh...ugly-ness prevails.from looks to character.sheessh.she's ugly in & out.godpls dun let me lyk her.amin.anyways..i guess tt's all....to someone:do cheer up.u dun deserve her.i'm seriously telling u.u don't.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse and so much deeper.
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
sighs @ tymes u shldn't listen to ur heart as
it myte mislead u.i think 4 us.i'll treasure
what we hve now.and be happy as it is.
u shall be a friend.a close friend.and i'll
learn to share this love 4 u thru our precious
friendship..i cnt believe i cld be this smitten
agnn..pls.i just ought not to.eversince my last
major breakdown.i tot my heart was already into
millions pieces.tts gonna tke forever to be replaced.
arghh.not this soon pls.e wound hasn't recovered
completely.my past still haunts me.how cn i just
open a new chapter now?dun u think it's way to
soon.i ain't desperate 4 love god.i'm nt in any
position to say no to u dear god.but i do hope
whatever path u're leading me to.is e path tt
u truly chose 4 me.for i am afraid.to afraid.to
lead a life filled with sadness & grief.i want
to taste e lyf of love as beautiful as it was before.
sighs.i believe karma had byte me real bad.i had
my experience.and i hope tt particular ex of my.
pls let it all go.let me breathe in peace.let me hve
e keys to my heart bck.and let me love someone
sincerely.so i cn experience e magic of love once agn.
pls do.don't let me suffer anymore.i believe i've suffered
enough.even u hve found a new one to replace me.
let me find one too?pls.sighs.i noe my ego had ALWAYS bn
high up.too high @ some moments.i admit.it cn be
worst than a guy's ego.but u cn't blame me.those tymes
i want to be e best.cos in tt skul.only e best cn stand out.
sorry u were included in my competitive game.pls do
forgive me.i know it's too late to apologise.but do forgive me.
if u EVER reads my blog tt is.to tt someone special.i hope
u'll nvr noe e existance of this crazy feeling.for i treasure
our friendship much more than to hve a r/s with uu.
but if it's fated 4 us to ever be together.i'll gladly accept with open
arms.who wouldn't ryte?u're perfect in terns of EVERYTHING=)
i dun wanna see e flaws tt u & me hve.it doesn't matter...
aku jujur menyintaimu.namun hati berbelah bagi kerana engkau adalah sahabat ku.apakah harus aku korbankan persahabatan demi
mengukuhkan lagi rasa cinta di dalam sanubari.namun aku tidak mungkin ingin mengkhianati persahabatan yg sungguh murni ini.oh tidak.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy.
Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.
Irresistible. Loves being in long
relationships. Great talker. Always
gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves
to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely
fun. Loves to joke. Smart.
to fat:continue reading to e bottoms.& all ur answers are answered=))
today i had fun too=))
it was a "double date"
not exactly lahhh ehh.
i mean not in tt wayy.
but i swear it was funnn.
WAIT!!!announcement to be made.
tobias!!!is afraid of cockroachhh.hhahas.
actually not really lahhhs.i
think he got shock by e sudden
appearance of e cockroach..hahahas.
so cute.then he,pilar & teo all
sitting @ e bck of e cabb.suddenly
tobias just jumped in his seat & he moved
towards pilar.squishing lala & teo.
hahas.lucky thing e taxi door is securely locked
or else i SWEAR teo cld hve flown off e cab.hahas.
sooo.after e drama.teo took a tissue box & killed
e cockroach which was @ e other end.hahas.
e taxi driver was laughing away pls.lols.
yeshh.hahas.so e disgusting cockroach died.
hahas.soooo..after tt we all went to esplanade
after bukering @ bugis eating place=)
hahas.teo glad u lyk e mee soto..hahas.and
yeahs.ur top tt u bought look gr8 on u
together with tt capp.seriously=))sincere
compliments from me to u..soooo..all i cn
say is i had fun.really had funnn.i love today.
hahas.yesh teo.we're e kids & i must hold ur
hands so cn cross safely hurhur.hahas...so
we all shall hve e "double date" agnn....sooon.
sooon.hahahs.all i cnnn sayy is..it was superbly
fun.hahas.@ esplanade all we did was slack..
and trust me..it was super funn.pilar's LAME maha LAME
jokes.pls ehhh.it wasn't funny @ all lorrs.esp e
water jokes.sheeessshhh soooo lame.hrmphhh..
but i love u still ehs.now & for eternity..hahas..
so then.e guys sent us to taxi stands...so mcm e
gentlemen knnn.hahas.all i cn sayy is i nvr met
guys lyk themmm lahhhs.sweett-neessss.
anywayyss.i love today..more of it ehhh???
List out your top 5 b'day presents u wish for:
1. love?2. lime green adidas stuffs.3. this bryte lime green top.4. let all i love live happily.5. lotsa cash to help ppl.The person who you took this survey from:
fateha.Your relationship with her is:
soccer mate & now friends.Your 3 impressions of her:
wacky.loud.prettaayyy.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
she was really supportive during trainings though i was such an annoyance=))The most memorable words he/she had said to you:
slowly practice then cnnn make it one.
noone was gd overnyte.sth like tt arr.
The most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is:
to actually go training but sighs i really can't 4 nw.-sobs-If he/becomes your lover, you will:
give her all e happiness.hahas.tts wad i do to all erms my ex-es i guess=)but it won't happen.hahas.cos i think she str8 & some more i dun go 4 long hair girls.hehs.If he/she becomes your lover, things he has to improve on will be:
to be patience i guess??
If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
she is nt a enemy material pls.Your overall impression of him/her is:
she's reall fun to hang out with.How do you think people around you will feel about you?:
if they nvr know me.they say i am a snobbish biatch.i mean like hello??do i literally hve to smile 24/7??mcm pls ehhh.The character(s) you love about yourself is/are:
im loyal=)both friends & r/s.The character(s) you hate of yourself is/are:
low self esteem.=((The most ideal person you want to be is:
i dun compare myself to others no matter how i hates myself.For people that care and like you, say something to them:
thanks 4 e care & concerns.u're loved e same way by me=))Pass this quiz to 10 persons you wish to know how they feel about you
1) pilar2) juztyn3) kai4) an5) nadira6) rul7) dy8) catherine9) mariah10) teo-Who is no.10 having relationship with?
his single.-Is no.5 a male or female?
tskkk.she's a female lahhh ehhs.-If no.4 and 2 are together?
eeee.PURE BUTCH.hahahas.
-What is no.1 studying about?
she's my bestyy who takes dip in dance in nafa.-When was the last time you had a chat with no 3?
baru tadi sehhhs.hahas.-What kind of music band does no.8 like?
all sorts arrr.from what i know.she not picky.-Does no.9 has any siblings?
yupps.an older sister.-Will you woo no.6 ?
hahas.i'm nt tt desperate lahhs.i mean pls ehh.b's supposed to woo p.nt e other way round.-How about no.7 ?
i won't.she's a friend.stay tt way.-Is no.4 single?
u wished.hahas.well.i do.-What is the nickname of no.5?
naddd.-What is the nickname of no. 10?
my mr volleyball.-What is the hobby of no.1?
dance?camwhore-ing with us.hahas.-Do no.2 and 7 get along well?
i guess so.somewhat.-Where is no.3 studying at?
she's working @ vs.-Talk something casually about no. 8?
catherine loves my laughter.hahahs.
-Have you try developing feelings for no.1?
I love her lykk crazyyy lahhhs.pls ehh.she's my bestyy.hahas.-Where does no.9 live at?
tampines.-What color does no.6 like?
i ain't gt a clue.we just got to know each other somewhat.-Are no.4 and 2 best friends?
no wayyy.noone cn get to know an.pls ehhh.hahas.-Does no.7 likes no.8?
they tk knal each otherr.-How do you get to know no.3?
eeee.nadz & yan kenalkn.hahas.she happens to be my ex.-rolls eyes-hahahas.but i love her still.she makes my day.though she 4EVER must argue with me.ishh.-Does no.10 have any pets?
he used to.he had cats.=)))-Is no.10 the sexiest person in the world?
sexiest ehh?i say he's hot=))esp in tt top i chose 4 u.hehes.seriously...-Your views on no.1?
she says lame jokes & laugh @ it lyk it was oh-so-funny but i nvr once love her less.
Friday, September 21, 2007
The Bottom Line
You will finally get all the recognition you have been working so hard for today!
In Detail
Good news -- you will finally be getting all the recognition you have been working so hard for today! It's taken awhile, mostly because not everyone has been watching your progress as closely as they should have been. Don't hold it against them -- you are not (surprise surprise) the center of their universe. Friends are likely to be a little bit jealous of all the attention you're getting, but when they see how happy it makes you, they'll forget all about their envy.
tt is today's horoscope.
i wld like to talk abt yest.
e day me lala,tobs,mervis & teo
went out to town.hahas.we were
spsed to be shopping 4 teo's stuff
& mervis teddy.but nope...we
didn't all tt.instead we lepaks @
long john.guess which one???
CINELEISURE.hahs.mcm i'm still
awed & caught by surprise @ e
fact tt i didn't tear.not a bit even.
had e feeling of abt to tear.but
it didn't happen.tt effing place.
it just tempt painful memories
to come flowing bck & arghh.
how much it hurts to even look
towards tt place.what mre step
into it.sighs.but i'm surprised tt
yesterday i went not just in.but sat
there 4 say an hr or so.not just
sitting quietly.but talking.and pls ehh.
tke note LAUGHING along to
their jokes.hahas.e limelight is ms
mervis.she's a wacky girl by nature.and
i love tt wackiness.hahas..all i cn sayy
it's funn..and we ought to do it mre often.
and i love my besttyyyyy loadddsss....
hehs.random i know.but i love her.mre
than anything in life=)))anyways...
today i baby sitted agnnn.hahs.
and i shall post a few pics...my lil angels.
she's e adorable ain.pretty-nesss.i love her eyes pls.
she is e love of my life.hahas.my teddyy.i love her meaty-ness.haha.
e angelic sisters.they made my day.my pretty goddaughters=))adakah kamu akan menjadi kekasihku yg tercinta?atau mungkin hanya sekadar illusi.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Vous aimer est spécial, pour être a aimé par toi est divin et pour aimer et être a aimé est magnifique.
today i pondered over my capabilities
of becoming a pleasent domestic housewife.
i had to babysit my two niece.
one is erms abt e age of a yr old.
while e other darling was abt 2 yrs of age.
they're really adorable beyond words.
both are really well-behaved.
well.all i can say is they are compared
to my hell-havoc-siblings.yeahs.
compared to these 3 devils of mine.
these 2 are definitely my definition of
angels.hahas.they really made my day so
utterly pleasure-able.all i did e whole
day was laughed non-stop.their effing
adorable-ness tickled my heart.hahas.
when both came over.they were quite
cranky.come one who lyks it when their
parents leaves them to others to tke cre.
even if to their own aunties.hahas.well.
but of crse.being e capable aunty i am.i
managed to soothe their tantrums and
blah blah blah...they quieten down @ my
coaxing and soon they were smiling and
laughing..hahas.i'm good=))))hehes.i mean
for these 2 kids who was nvr ever separated
from their parents before.like hello it was a
mission accomplished on my side larrs.hahas.
so i handled both of them without much
screams and scoldings and heart-wrenching
moments tt i usually hve to go thru with my
own siblings.they listened to me and followed
exactly as told.gosh.i seriously want kids like
them.such a pleasing gift from god seriously.
but it was rather tiring also larr..what more.
my 1 yr old niece is big.she has e nick sumo
from me and all in my family.she's extremely
chubby and meatyy larrs.so imagine i hve to
literally carry her ard and her older sister
just wldn't let go of me 4 even a nano sec...
hahas.i mean like ohmygod.hahas.but what
i was happy with was tt i tend them almost all
by myself.hahas.and guess what?i managed to
cook.prepare drinks 4 my family to break their
fast.so doesn't tt prove to tt i cn be a successful
and pleasant domestic housewife someday???
hahas.but then rytes.when nyte came.it was quite
tiring.and i felt lethargic.then i pondered with
this question stuck in my head "if i literally hve to
attend to her ALL my life.wld i willingly still do
it w/o complaints?"gosh.tt i got to think twice cnn.
hahas..like ohmygod.quite boring u noe.all u do is
make milk.food.clean up hse.do laundries.sweep.mop.
diaper changing.bathing tyme.fix breakfast/lunch/dinner
and all tt.ohmygod.it's rather monotonous larrs.
but e laughter tt they brought me just shunned e very
emotions of fatigue and restlessness and lethargic-ness.
urghhhhhs.confusion befalls me yet agn...but it's
wayyyy tooooo earlyyy to make any decisions.wayyy
too early.oh wells.i shall follow what God has made for
me.i'm sure He knows e best...and tt it is....
adiós y porción de amor de mí a usted=)
♥el amor es como cielo pero daño como infierno
Thursday, September 13, 2007
each tyme i am all set to change sth.sth else will come in e way.sighs.it's ok.i tke it as a god's wayof testing me.my change.to see ifi'm truly sincere.well.god all i cn sayi am really wanting to change.to changefor the better.to try my very bestnot to do what i've bn doing.waiting 4 someone who all e whileis nt who u made 4 me.i willtry my very best oh god.to changethis incomplete self.i dun promise.but i def will put in as much effortas i cn.i just hope to go bck to what u made us to be in this world for.i believe. i cn.and i hope i cn.insya-allah.i want to be a LADY with all the things u want them to be.i noe i cn nvr be a perfect one.but i'll try my very best to at least be one of them.that's e least i cld do.i've sinned wayytoo much.i'm 18.sighs.7 yrs of my life.i swear i'd sinned.sighs.i hope there's stillsome tyme 4 me to repent and comebck to path u blessed god.sighs.yest each tyme ramadhan comes.i hve tt utter guilt-stricken feeling beingimplanted into me.sighs.i just hopei hve enough tyme to once agn.clear off my utmost sins...sighs.forgive me for this entry.just a moment to myself.sorry agn.to juz:thanks a lot dearest.u were a gr8 help.hopefully it helps.love u.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
it's a sin to build your happiness on top of other's sorrow.
hmmms.yeahs.tts what i believe in.i pray to god.each and everyday tti wun be stuck in a r/s wherebymy other half is someone else's other half.it's such a sad thing arr.anyways.i got a lil too carried away by tt showrahsia perkahwinan.wad more it touchescertain issues in my dad's side family.anyways. tomorrow is e month tt i'vebn waiting 4.e month whereby i cn clearmy sins.well.this month i cn fast guiltfree.i dun smoke anymore.i am not attached with a b.i'm just free.and i'll try to change 4 e better larrs ehs.rest assured.i'm dressing decent 4 a start.nt tt i've nt bn dressing decent.but my now definition is no tight clothes.no shorts anything.no tight fittings.just not body revealing.anyways.i just wanna wish all..happy berpuasa ye???hehes.clear off ur sins....=))mine is liketonnes full.so i hve to start clearing it slowly.CAPRICORN.Stop wishing for things you don't have, and start working with what you do have. You don't have to accept things the way they are, but you do have to recognize that in order to change them, you have to do the work. Physically, your body can be changed -- but you have to have patience and know that things can't happen overnight. Emotionally, the same holds true -- do not put pressure on yourself to change how you feel immediately. Give yourself time!
oh hell yes u shld.
cos baby.guess wad?
i hve decided to let it
all go.and pursue a lyf
of my own.w/o u in it.
i'm sick of tearing over
and over again.i'm too
drained to say i love u
and not hear anything in
return.i just hope u're
pleased with my decision.
though it'll hurt rather
badly.i'm still gonna try.
and i won't give it up.
i'll leave u to what u want.
i'm gonna be tt girl agn.
e one who just shldn't love.
i shld remain philophobics.
and refrain from falling yet
into another dumb love scene.
why shld i forever be pondering
over e will-u-ever-reciprocate?
i mean.i deserve better.i believe
in tt.i may not hve wad it tkes
to be called beautiful.but i
def owns a heart tt is mre
fragile than glass.and i nd someone
who cn treasure it like it's their
everything.and i'm just not gonna
search anymore.i'll wait 4 tt one
to come by themselves.
lyk e saying tt goes.u shldn't be finding
love.let love find u.that's why it's called
FALLING in love.it comes @ e tyme u
least expected it and leaves @ e
tymes u didn't invite it.yeahs.so tt
it shall be.patience is virtue.
and lyk thou always say.
love is worth the waitnothing last forever.i'm sorry i cnt be perfect.but i tried my best.but u didn't see e efforts.
Friday, September 07, 2007
hahs.very funny websyte tt i came across.hahs.puh-leese eh.i amisha patel look alike.eee...
mcm langit ngan bumi sehs.so e diff larrs.hahs.anyways.i was bored.so yeahs.tts e aftermath of boredom yeahs?try all sorts of funny websytes.hahs.enjoys.adios.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
♥ shall find its way to u.and it is worth the wait.
today was rather tiring.
since i slept quite late
yest nyte.i woke like so
late arr..was woken up by
mum's perpetual nagging.
grrrs.she always have to
nag like early in e morning..
kk!!i admit it was nt exactly
soooo in e morning.it's lyk
gonna be noon soon.sheesh.
well.cnt blame me ryte?i
went to bed only @ 4.30 e
nyte b4.hehes.dun ask y k.
erms.so woke up @ eleven plus.
bathed.ate breakfast.then
watch tv as usual.wanted to
go to skul but i had to adjourn
e plans for e moment.then daddy
came hme.hrmph.e usual happens.
he being noisy.blah blah blah.
lazy to expatiate on him.
then he ask mummy to go to bk
agn.tt living hell place.i call
it.ewww.die2 also i dun wanna
go there larrrs.so i tld mum
tt i wanna go pay fees.u go to
tt hell alone.urghhh.e very
mention of tt place irks me pls.
urghhhs.i loathe tt place.
it's filled with iniquity and peccancy.
gross place for me.a place whereby
it just outryte sinful.sighs.
i just pray hard tt i won't ever
hve to return there ever.i leave
my past reminiscences as it is.
and i hope it'll die together
with my love or hope for a change in
tt place.but whtver it is.i still do
pray tt ppl there wld repent and
turn over a new leaf.pls do..
anyways.leave tt loathsome place aside.
so i went bck to skul.and paid my fees
@ e student admission office.but
damn!!cos i paid my fees a lil late.
so i think they imposed a fine.so i
had to pay abt 10 bucks extra.and
i rly had just enough to pay 4
tt amt.gosh.then i was lyk thinking.
ohno.do i rly hve to come bck agn?
hrmph..then skali i tot of e money transfer
thingyy..hahahs.i called up lalas.but
she in skul.so called a few up.then
lastly ade.and she transferred it to me.
thanks ade=)i owe u one yeahs?
anyways.so i paid.and went off.was
rly tired larrs still.think it's e lack of slp.
so i took bus 72 to hougang.thn changed 2
bus 80.so i ter-slept in e bus 80.
can't blame me as i said i'm too tired.
so e bus went on and on and on....and guess wad?
i woke up only when e bus was reaching vivo.
lyk wth cnnn...hahas.and i lyk boarded e bus @
5 like tt.arghhhhs...and i cld hve reached hme
@ 6 plus latest.but thanks 2 tt nap.i reached
hme only @ 7 plus 8...ishhhh..annoying cnnn..
tts why i HATE bus ryde....they dun tell u
where u are.unlike mrt tt will say every stops
name...so @ least i cn hear it subconsciously.
anyways.wad to do.must benefit tt DUMB bus
pass marhhhhss...hehes.so yeahs.when ireached
hme.daddy's gone..whooppeeee...hehes.happy arr..
if nt he shout2 non-stop.too much bouncer-ing
made him a lil too deaf to his surroundings.
so when he speaks,he just don't realise tt
he needn't scream as we're nearby and not deaf yet!!
shheeessshhh..daddy daddy.so yeahs.hahas.
adakah percintaan akan diikat dengan sebuah perjanjian?atau ia hanya akan bergantung tiada bertali.berikanlah daku pengharapan agar terlerai rindu dihati.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
cinta yg ku curah dibiar sepi menanti tanpa kepastian.sampai bila kah harus kumenunggumu.kau bak hempedu.terlalu pahit untuk ditelan.namun dibuang sayang.kau lah sembilu yg kian menghiris hatiku pilu.
e reminiscence of these life.
just makes one sentimental.
it may draw a tear.or a smile.
or maybe even a lil of both.
how much one's pain and tears
myte cos laughters in them
after a long while.or it cld
also induce real misery...
but to subdue these pains.
it demands struggles.
u've got to jump all hurdles.
so as to do tt too necessitates
puissance and patience.
it cn indeed be excruciating to
actually even think abt e fact
tt e person you fancy isn't
reciprocating ur feelings.
or maybe thinking abt how
a bestfriend actually turned
her back at you for the sake
of someone you are or were
with.it's infuriating,yes.
if one bothers resuscitating,
then only will one realise tt those
very mistakes are e ones tt
effectuate e strength that one
has retained in all of us.
to be brave is to be able to
stand up for oneself eventhough
u were scared to death.
but at one point of tyme.
one may not has tt quality.
but in tymes to come.with more
distresses in line.it matures one.
thus only after such circumstances,
did one actually realise how one
possesses attributes.it's thru e thicks
and thins.tearing and smiling is
considered parts and parcels of a real lyf..
so it's either u tear or u laugh.
that's ur choice.tearing may nt
requisitely means anguish.
but it could mean tears of joy.
while laughing dun essentially
carries e meaning of joy.it
cld carry hidden emotions.
thus in order for one to see
thru all these is to be patience
and know someone not just look
wise but also skin deep.to
go deeper into one's real self
is nvr an easy task.but
pure sincerity and curiousity will
def lead one in e ryte way..
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
life is a rollercoaster ryde.u hve e highest of e high ryde and e lowest of e low ryde.u either enjoy or u fear it.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
HAPPY BURFDAY TO MY SWIT BITCH.HAHAS.
`ur mummy's DEVVILL'S CURRRRYYY is superb=)vuela.hahas.
`cake was good.hahas.ice creams are a treat.
--juztyn:sorry yeahs?tt u puasa and u still came dwn.--
tooo myyyyy looovvveeee,
wells.pilar carmelita arlando.turned 18 today.hahas.
my bestyyy since like forever.hahas.
journey from sec 1 tt lasted till nw.hahas.
u were e very first gal i actually conversed with in
skul.remember?u wanted to share e hymm book with me.
hahas.not knowing i was a muslim.wakakakas.tt was
funny.hahas.but throughout e years our friendship
strengthened.hahas.from mere acquitance.we became
e bestest of bestfriend.hahas.e fytes we had.4 god knows
wad reason.hahas.i still cnt recall why we called each other
bitch during e sec2 or 3 days.hahas.e funniest thing larr..
we cnt even remember e reason why we fought.hahas
whatever it is.i wanna thank u for everything.from e moment i met
you till now.and i hope i'll still hve a chance in moments to come.
there's always this lil wish in my heart.tt one fyne day
u me and mel.cn somehw live in one simple apartment together.
hahas.3 bestfriend in one hse.whoahs.wickedly crazy cnnn...
and maybe in 10 yrs to come...hahas.we cn all push prams
together gether..hahas.hmmmms.how adorable.hahas.
hahas.kk i shld really stop fantasing.hahas.a bit too much..
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
ouhs.then after lala darling burfday.
went home cos need to babysit 2 cuteties.
hehes.they darn adorable cn..hahahs.like
they literally cnt survive without me.hahas
mum was saying they're wailing @ home.
hahas.so i rush all e way hme arr..
well when they saw me.e older sis start to
sooth down a lil.hahas.while e younger sis
still a bit of e cries.but not wailing anymore.
hahas.so i played e nasyid song to her.and she
kept quiet and look @ me innocently.like so e
cute cnnnn..hahas.yeahs.she gets literally
hypnotised by e nasyid.hehes.easy larrrs...
then i wanted to go shop.hahas.but e elder sis
like not letting me go @ all.when i stepped out of
e hse.she cried and cried.hahas.so i gt no heart
to leave her crying alone.so i brought her along.
hahas.so had to bring a pram larrs.so cute.hahas.
well.wad can i say.mother-in-training katakn....
hahahs.but she was rly well-behaved.[compared to my
devillious siblings]@ least bringing them out
wasn't much of a chores.they listen to me.arghhhhs.
unlike my OWN siblings.irritating larrs.hahs.
but i love them still.hahas.i still cnt believe it.
i'm an aunty..hahas.to soooo many kids.wakkaakakas.
hahas.ouhs wells.anyways.cos my cousins got married
supppperrr early.hehes.so yeahs.those angelic
princesses was such a drama queen larrs.hahas.so e
adorable.hahas.my sumo wrestle so cute.she got a pissed
when my lil bro snatch her book away[look @ e video]
hahas.then when my bro 4ever disturbing her.trus tt
sumo resort to her actions.hahas.she byte my bro's cheek..
hahas.cute siahs...my bro started crying.ish crybaby...
lols.anyways.all i can say is it was fun to babysit angels.
tyme passes briskly.though i didn't want it to end
so soon.hrmph..overall i love today.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
sighs so today cldn't come down for match to support @ sas.
so sad larrs.but whatever happens.my family and two bestyy are my
priorities.everything else set aside.yeaps.sorry peeps.
hehes.and congrats 4 winning=))tke cre.
