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Thursday, July 26, 2007
someone keeps passing judgement on butches and lesbians and gays... okay in general tha gay ppl... tsk... let them live their lives larrr... in this short life there's no time to waste on frivolous matters... c'mon man... and dun discriminate.. put urself in their shoes... wad if the world was supposed to be predominantly gay populated ??.. and when dey discriminate us the straight ppl ?? how wud u feel ??.. tsk tsk... they are still human too no matter their sexual orientation... just like tha discrimination between races... tsk tsk.. i find it so DUMB... so what if he's black or blue or purple or pink... still human... he still bleeds like you do... and if u dun belong to tha minority group doesnt mean ur superior or better than them... tsk... so DUMB.. so stupidly dumb... i hate this mindset... so gong... aniwae why am i gettin so worked up for.
copyrighted ryte from ellyana's myspace.
i'm sorry i HAVE to let it all out.today.or i'll go crazy.
hmmms..there's so much
truth in elly's blog entry..
tt i just got to put it here 4
ppl to read.
sighs...
PEOPLE help me..
i've bn so discourage to go
skul.
sighs..i fl like i dun belong in
this skul.
truthfully this is hw i fl.
sighs.
in soccer...
i rly felt superbly belong..
till this weird emotion took
me over..
[no no...hahas.i'm NOT falling 4 anyone]
i just hve this feeling tt
i am not welcome..
sighs maybe cs i'm nt gd..
i dunnoe..
but it just pains me
one way or another..
sighs..
i guess its my inability to
really do well in playing...
sighs...
but i do wanna learn.
buti just lack of my motivation...
its all due to one person
who ABRUPTLY just stop
talking to me.
and YES this person..
LITERALLY just stop talking.
dn ask me y.
i haven't had a clue. Sighs..
it's nt tt it bothers me so much..
but u knw..
it's absurdly disturbing tt.
i mean dun u think it's ridiculous tt
one actually just dont converse with u?
and u dwn there
bn cracking ur head
4 e reason y..
gosh..is it my mistake smwhre?
let me knw lahs thn...
sighs..i hate it whn i dunoe anything.
gosh...
and during my own course lessons too...
gosh @ tymes i rly feel like crying....
sighs...
i just find it diff to adapt to this contrast
change...
languish apart from my bestfriends..
it hurts..hurts real bad...
i know ppl will ridicule me 4 being
such a baby..
but i rly cnt believe tt
i am pining 4 my bestyy to be by my side.
now and always.
sighs..
e fear of being backstabbed agn and agn..
just sent chills dwn my spine...
i believe i really do hve my phobia
of befriending anyone..
to even think of getting extremely close to
someone now scares me...
dun be surprise ppl if nwadays...
u will see mre silent than ever..
sighs...but e funny thing
is tt each time i mit my bestyy and my ex sacians
i am myself..laughing out loud.screaming.
talking @ e most hyperactive manner...
i cn do tt...
but if u put me in nyp[in my classrm]
and u ask me to do tt..
sighs...i'll either shy away or
just plain shut up and
get engrossed on sth non-living
but cn depart deep feelings into u..
which is of crse reading books..
i am rly noy strong enuff..
therefore this blardy long entry is made...
i rly nd to clear up my polluted mind
and real torn heart..
i dun wanna kp this burden to myself..
i nd motivation to go to skul..
but wad's left to t skul?
nuthing much interest me..
last tyme e company of joanne and elly really kp me wanting to come skul.. but nwadays.. everyone is just in their own conversation tt i know nuts abt.. sighs...it hurts.. maybe this is hw shaheen felt whn i and her had tt BIG war... or mybe this is hw idah felt whn everyone gaf her tt wtf hw cld u do such a thing look. sighs...it ry do aches my heart. but am i left with much of a choice.. unless suicide was one of e choices.. tt wld be my priority... but no...wad 4 lose my life over this... tymes and experience has matured me. suicide isnt even in my list... even as e last resort.... sighs...i fl more cooped up in this skul.. and i hate tt... tts y i cme up with one thousand and one reason to absent myself from skul. sighs.... try putting urself in my shoes.. maybe u'll comprehend this unfortunate feelings of mine. i fl really lethargic. @ tymes i wish tt confidence came in e fom of a pill... i'll consume it each and everyday to induce tt bubbly confident lady in me. sighs...
am i too paranoid? am i being too sensitive? is it me?or it is everybody? is it my low self esteem tt has taken over me? is it my reluctance in accepting new acquitance to become my friends tt is indiscriminately bugging my conscience? it rly is agonising when there's too many questions tts left unanswered.. please spare me this agony of going thru so much pain.sighs.
