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Thursday, March 30, 2006
This is a letter from a "dear" friend to clear up her mind.she said.
i don't give a damn anymore if she'll be hurt.and e whole world will turn against her.
cos she didn't spare a tot 4 a friend.
To me only:i know you know about the crush thing. That USED TO have a crush on me. And i know or feel that after you heard you wished wouldnt have told about that. You may think that i like . You may think of all the things you want that has anything that got to do with me. You may think i might or probably have a slightest bit crush on . I heard what you said that day to . I think i know what/who youre referring to. I'm seriously am not stupid. I may be blur but i heard every single word. I just wanted to make sure. To be frank, youre absolutely 100% wrong. I dont like . I dont never ever have a crush on . I seriously so god damn have any slightest feelings towards her. For god's sake. Shes a butch. God dammit. Shes a butch. Shes a fucking hell butch. Im straight. Dont you get it. I dont like girls. So what you may say. I used to like butches. I used to be a passive. Thats the past, isnt it? Why bring out the past. Just like you. You used to date guys. Out of a sudden, faisal made you not like guys. You hated them. But see how much you have mixed around with boy. Then they what, bapok to you. You mixed with them pretty god damn well. Especially boy. So tell me larh. If you hated guys so much, what is boy to you? Bapok? Butch in a guys' suit? Isnt the past is the past? So what, i can like whoever i want. I seriously dont like butches. They are friends they are. Same to . You can feel whatever you want to feel. You may think whatever you want to think. Whatever you think about me, youre so god damn wrong. Call me a bitch if you want, if you thought i like . Think again before you started saying the words. So what if disturb me? As long you dont think anything is going on, why bother? I also cant do anything if disturb. What am i suppose to do tell me? Her hands are so itchy, she just cant sit down quietly for once and not disturb me. Even if i ignore, she will carry on would she? I am so god damn sick feeling like this. I can sense you know. That you, down there feeling or thinking that something with me and . Im so sick of having to come home wondering what to say cause i think aminah is angry with. Finding things out from my good friend and . Im so so god damn sick of what you think. Im writing this letter to you to tell you off. I dont wanna fight. I dont want our friendship to be ... just cause of misunderstandings of the thoughts of you about me and . I so dislike lesbianism. I really so really do. Im trying my best here to say whatever is hurting deep inside my heart each time i go home see your SHITTY STUPID FACE to whatever youre thinking. Youre my friend. My best friend. Youre a lesbian. Im being kind here. If not i tell you i would have hated you because youre a lesbian. I like being friends with you cause youre fun to talk to, tell secrets to. I seriously would not care if youre lesbian and doesnt have all of this for me to be friends to. Im doing a good thing here cause i dont want to feel like how i feel when i see you. I feel like we're drifting apart and on the verge of fighting over some stupid thing of what you think. I dont want to end off not being friends with you. You can sometimes drive me insane on the verge of drowning myself with panadol because of how i feel how our friendship is going to be like. Im begging to you on my hands and knees to stop thinking of nonsense thing and making me feel shitty most of the time. And stop thinking that im some kind of a bitch that i would seriously ever steal your gf. If for so ever you don't trust me. You feel scared things might turn out bad. Then I seriously think we should not stay any closer. If thats how you sometimes feel why should we even stay closer. I hate always to feel this way towards you. I hate to ever fight over childish stuff of the things you think. I just sometimes dont know whats your problem. Because of you, youre making me crazy or even HATE YOU. You just love testing my patience want to see me turn into a tiger. I can you know. If you drag me into it. Just like how i sometimes want to do to my good friend. This is your last chance. Ive tolerated enough of your nonsense. You can go FUCKING HELL think whatever you want. SAY whatever YOU WANT. TRUST who ever YOU WANT. Just dont test patience and drive me even more insane. Now look at the mirror and see for yourself who's acting LIKE A BITCH NOW! It is nonetheless YOU. Seriously AMINAH! Ive tolerated enough. Kept secrets enough. And not standing up for myself when you feel uneasy or thoughts about me. You sometimes can be the death of me for when things go wrong between us. I so want to hate you but something stopping me not to. Youre such a STUPID ASSHOLE who would ever think i would ever have a thing towards . You are ONE BLOODY STUPID ASSHOLE. I dont think you even know me very much. Thanks for being such an ass friend you are. Its a good thing i write it down than saying it. I would have slap you by then. I could have slapped you till you even you bleed. You can go ahead trust someone more than me. I dont care. I dont. Having you as my friend is good enough. Why should i bother what others think? As long as it doesnt affect me, i dont feel affected by your words or your thoughts. I shouldnt care, should i? Even if i didnt care and there you are still carry on thinking of things which arent true bothers me. You there, thinking as if i LIKE . PLEASE LARH EH. It is seriously not true. Im not trying to create trouble here or fight with you. Im tired of feeling this way. Im here to stop you from thinking of STUPID THINGS. OF ME AND . OF WHATEVER is so god damn going through your little head of yours. It is seriously is hurting THE HELL OUT OF ME. Do whatever you want, think whatever you want. As long as it has in it, every single thing is not true. Sometimes i just feel like disappearing into the air and make your life feel much better when im not around. Im seriously sorry if i ever offended you, make you cry. Make you think i think dont want to be friends with me or whatsoever. Im not. I dont want to feel what i feel when im around you. I want this to be between you and me only. You want to tell others, go ahead larh. I wouldnt care. Wait, I wouldnt give A GOD DAMN CARE. Do forgive me for being vulgar in this letter. For making you feel shitty today. Im really am really am 101% sorry.A gentle reminder: Some contents have been corrected due to writer's atrocious FANTABULOUS english. This is made specially by the new and corrected and more improved SCAMS.However, do note, this letter is written by writer at her own free will, exact words, none changed.It does not concern those who are alive nor dead.Those who think of this as a similar situation, is coincidential. :DLove, Scams.
