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Sunday, August 08, 2004
why is it like
this?
haiz...i reallie fl fucked up
all over agn..
if u're gonna come and go agn..
thn why the fuck u
came back?
u're juz hurting me more...
i'm in a state bad enuf..
u dun
need 2 add more...
i fl sickeningly hollow...
i went on being stupid online...
i start toking rubbish..
and disturbing ppl
and i laughed
non-stop till tears stung my eyes
to hide my
sad voice..
whn i was talking 2 saedah n ryann..
i start talking nonsense
and acting ridiculous...
i talk nonsense...
and pretended i was reallie happie...
haiz..
i'm sickly tired...
iflfuckedup
i dunnoe why...
life is so pressurising...
i questioned god agn..when i layed on my bed...
why u make us meet agn...
if u're gonna make her go awae...
fucked up..
nt enuf wid u hurting me tt time...
why is god being so
bad towards me??
why is he so bias one..alwaez me...
it's me getting hurt..
i met her..tt time..
and thn...
we lost touch...
i was on the verge of recovering frm the
hurt god had put me thru...
i had tried 2
learn to accept tt friends come n go...
thn y u make us meet agn???
why?
why?
why?
arghhhh.....
this is getting reallie irritating...
i tot..it's fated tt we meet agn...tt god was being kind
towards me 4 once..
but in the end..
He..did it agn..He make us lose contact..
haiz...
why is life like this?
can't we just live in a world where
grief and sadness
is juz non-existance??
it's enuf wid the tears shed 4 mr quah...
u took him awae frm all of us..
whn we weren't braced to lose him...
we weren't even
ready to accept the fact tt he will leave us tt soon...
why didn't u gaf him at least a few
more months of grace...
haiz....
i wld rather nt meet all this
ppl and in the end
juz loses thm..
it's juz too hurting..and i dunnoe
if i shld ever regret
letting faizal
enter my life...but i was
reallie glad..i made
the rite choice..on nt to gif my heart too soon...
cuz he juz proved 2 be another
bastard...
but i shall try 2 control my sayings of
him..i shld
nvr bad mouth him..
as i wldn't want him 2 badmouth me either...
well...i shld be grateful..
tt i met him and at
the very least..he did
showered me wid some love and attention...
though nt the love and attention i was craving for.....
haiz...
abt mr quah
i guess we all hv 2 learn
to let him go
though how hard it's gonna be like
to leave sumone whom
had touched our heart in different waez....
at least he did make me realise
tt i shld be appreciative of ppl when
they are still ard
and nt just wait till the dae
whn they're gone
tt u sit dwn and wail and sobs
and cries...
or even regret
cuz it's no use..we shld be grateful
tt there are ppl out there who deserves a better
treatment....
haiz..so ppl reached out to those
who needs ur help
and alwaez be grateful to those
who are still ard
cuz u may nvr noe whn they will be loved more by god..
thn u'll live to regret...
