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haiz...well..he is sucha disappointment..haiz..didn't expect this frm him..y is he like this?it's reallie getting on my nerve man..haiz.. sick n tired of the same old thing man..haiz...fl like crying man..why is he like this?haiz..is he worth my tears?no wae!..i'm so confused.. maybe god is juz giving me time 2 make decision..haiz..u disappoint everyone..even ur own parents..hw cld u??i was so afraid 2 disappoint ur parents..ur family..n yet..u disappoint thm..as if they're outsiders..hw cld u man..haiz..if u can disappoint thm..sure thing u can disappoint me..haiz...4get it..i shall let fate decide...

ok go..haha...todae..actuallie yest nite..fuyooo....fun giler..happie siak aku..dpt jumpe abbas ngan fendi..alamak takleh angkat seh..haha.. abbas is cuter thn ever..i juz gt to noe..some minah frm six floor.. haiz..wun be surprised if by the end of next 2 yrs..i will be close friends wid those mats n minahs..all those glamours frend..haha..heck care ah...haha..eh ah..eh ah..tak takut..tak takut..haha..well..i love abbas..haha..kk shall nt let my feelings grow..i hate fendi..he's disgusting...ask 4 kisses..eww...haha..well..i juz come up 2 my hse siahz...we relax wid the mat motor until 2 am..haha..fun man..haha.. well..it's supposed 2 be juz the 2 of us siahz..but in the end..otha ppl followed..niahmind..thn gt another bicycle..thn abbas ask me 2 accompany him..so we took bicycle..n cycle ard there..haha..lin followed..thn i tink..she also like abbas..haiz..n my bf sis also like abbas..haiz..wadever..well..ermz..yeah..thn we cycled ard..thn abbas n me onli..like so fun liddat..wished i can be his stead..muakakaka..kk shall stop dreaming..i'm too ugly 2 be his..but he flirts alot siah.. wid me..haiz..he said..if onli it was juz the 2 of us..thn nuthing wld hv happen..thn things wld be different..well..it's true ah..haiz..i tink..i like abbas..haiz...well..but one thing i'm sure..i enjoyed my nite..haha..welll...nitez..see u peepz in skool sae..tomoro??

well..yesterdae..was a fridae?yeah tink so..supposed 2 mit sum ppl..to go out..but tt fella..juz had 2..4get it...so in the end..met up wid latiff instead..well..yeah..ermz..we met up at city hall..thn walk 2 esplanade..he was wid..hilmi i tink..n i was alone..haiz..well..nvm.. so latiff..atlas we met huh..haha..well..u ni..yesterdae met alreadie..
todae..still wanna mit..cannot lah..sorrie..well..maybe some otha time..well..kk..i guess..tts all..bb...tc..ermz...

P.S.:I HATE PPL WHO BREAKS PROMISES....

i fl so..haiz..todae..i reallie dun fl like myself..i fl like i'm some slut or bitch liddat..i reallie fl..so urghhh...i fl so bad..i fl so.. haiz..i dunnoe..juz nt myself..haiz..well...thnks latiff 4 listening agn..2 my nonsense questions n answering thm..maybe i'm a bad gf anywae..i fl so..err..can't find a werd 4 it..haiz..entah kenape rase mcm tak menentu seh hidup ni..haiz..i juz hope..i wun turn into those bitchy minahs...wahliaoz..almost everynite...i lepak outside..or nt.. go n mit mats..or tok 2 guys on the phone..wahliaoz...or watch mats go n jump dwn tt big longkang at the back..haiz...haiz...haiz..haiz.......
i seriously dunnoe wad's happening 2 me siahz...well..i guess..dat's abt all..n i hope faizal wun find out...haiz..nw i dunnoe if i still wanna mit tt mat motor n go out wid him this sat or nt..haiz...well.. shall juz see hw it goes lah...well..i shall go wid the flow..juz hope the flow is smooth..haiz..............................

P.S.:Latiff..sorrie..i juz dunnoe why..i dun dare 2 make guys angry tts all..well..thnks 4 reading siahz..well...if can mit..i'll try 2 mit u tomoro k..tc..bb..

well...faizal is asking me 2 meet..hmm...well..i going to the back lah n mit..haiz...yeah..i guess tts all..i'm bored...

Eh ah...Eh ah...Tak takut..Tak takut..Kepala Buto ah..Kepala Butoh ah..
Eh merepek tak layan ah...lek suah..haha..kk..sorie..Heran tak heran! goyang tak goyang..gentar tak gentar..busok2 gua tendang..ceh..cam real je aku..haha..well..my dae todae??hmm...interesting..the dae was quite boring..thn afternn came..fun..hehe..went chinatown..went to see uncle george's new shop..thn mummie bought 4 me..a very nice bracelet..
blue sapphire..n red anklet..hehe..love thm..thn walk ard at chinatown
..thn after tt came back 2 boon keng[hse lah]..yeah..thn sat wid thm.. dwnstairs..tok 2 his family..agn..his mum..oh btw..todae is his sis burfdae..ermz..actuallie yest..hehe..21 june..yeah..well..thn he came..
thn my mom asked me to go up..so i went up..yeah..thn later went 2 kak kam's hse..he also came up..i juz ignore him..so bad rite..haha..well waterloo?haha..thn rilek2 wid kak kam..thn went dwn..stayed wid my mommie n daddie..thn laze ard..n making loads of noise..haha..thn gt this guy..hehe..so cute..well..didn't noe at my hse area gt LOADS of cute guys..but wasted most of thm are mats..haiz..kk..wadever..yeah.. thn the makcik n pakcik all gambling..thn police came...luckily the police let thm off..yeah..interesting dae..hehe..gdbyez...

well.. todae gt wedding..so i used sum nice clothes n make up..thn went out.. thn..gt so many mats..my god..my freaking head..was spinning siahz.. wahliaoz..thn went to some otha function at rivervale..thn there..my parents..sang song..some ppl forced me 2 sing..but i managed 2 avoid limelight..juz move awae..thn aunt nor..was dancing to some bollywood song..thn she dance ard..thn gt this handsome guy..went out to dance.. haha..tt guy is my very long-distance cousin..yeah..haha..but he so cute..look like hrithik roshan...haha...thn came back..at hm..tok 2 abbas on the phone agn..haiz..maybe we going out nxt sat..at nite..went daddie gone off to werk..i hope things werk out...maybe i'll lie 2 mum n sae i wanna go out wid my guy..thn go out wid abbas...hmm...but i scared...tt guy..
can be quite scarie..haha..well..i wanna mit my guy..but he's alwaez 4get it...let ppl tink i'm the BAD one...he's the gd one..hmm..sound gd 2 me...n latiff..i'm sick n tired lah k...it's gonna be our one mth soon..dunnoe whether he'll notice or nt...haiz...guess..tts all..

well..i'm still up..toking 2 abbas on the phone..haiz..well..he's asking me out on the next weekend..ermz..take motorbike..haiz..shld i go???well..i wanna go..but thn my bf??haiz..will he allow..juz go out as friends wad..but he gt sae b4 nt to be too close 2 guys..haiz.. wadever lah..see hw it goes...

well..i'm still up..toking 2 abbas on the phone..haiz..well..he's asking me out on the next weekend..ermz..take motorbike..haiz..shld i go???well..i wanna go..but thn my bf??haiz..will he allow..juz go out as friends wad..but he gt sae b4 nt to be too close 2 guys..haiz.. wadever lah..see hw it goes...

whoah..tonite totally fun:D..went cycling agn..wid kak kam,abg man, baby besar,baby kecik n farah..we cycled 2 east coast..cycled until leg can break can..haha..thn we went to eateat..yummie..thn we went on agn..cycled...thn relax awhile..thn continued..i saw the place where i n him gt together...haiz..now i'm missing him like crazie..i reallie love him...a lot..well..thn i juz came back..tired...still out of breath..haiz..my toes are injured...OUCH!!!!pain...boohoo..well..but on the whole..it was soooo fun..:D..ermz...i WANT HIM NW!!!!!haiz...i hope he's safe n sound in his dreamwerld..i miss u.....


P.S.:Well..latiff..u gt to be patient k..one dae will come...but my advise is..if tt one dae come..u better nt let the chance slipped awae ok..alwaez remember..to believe in love...n nvr gif up on love k..tt's all..tadaz..

i'm bored 2 death..haiz..ermz..i hope 2nite i can go out wid him..i hope mummy let..well..i wanna meet him..i miz him..haiz...i love him.. i hope daddie werk 2nite...thn maybe some otha dae..can sneak out..n mit tt handsome abbas..hehe..yeah...guess tts all..if nithing interesting happens tonite..i'll update..

well..todae was darn fun..hehe..went cycling wid kak kam..went to abg man's hse..thn came back 2 boon keng..sit ard..was actuallie waiting 4 him..thn in the end..went back 2 kak kam's hse..thn stayed there 4 awhile..thn he came in..sit 4 awhile..nvr even tok 2 him directly.. yeah..thn..me n kak kam..i tink she went mad..haha..went dwn to eat at 12 sth in the middle of the nite..haha..yeah..thn went up agn..he's gone..haiz..why do i fl like hating him..n yet my heart yearns 4 him.. i dun tink i can hate him..i love him 2 much..and his cousins keep on pestering me..asking me if i'm wid him..thn i sae no lah..but actually yesh haha..thn nite..abbas called..tt mat motor..called his sis hp lah..thn he wanted 2 tok 2 me..so tok lah..at 1st we all put loudspeaker..thn he sae..eh dun put loudspeaker ah...i wanna tok 2 u privately..so i sae wad 4..thn he sae..he wanna get to noe be better.. wadever lah tt guy..but he's hot..hehe..sorrie..can't help tt..well.. thn some ppl gt jealous..cuz abbas juz wanna tok 2 me..n nt thm..so abbas also sae he needed call back..so i said yest lah..well..yeah.. haiz..headache siah...well..yeah..if my bf find out..i'll die siah.. well..i guess tts all..

P.S.:sorrie latiff didn't come online in the afternn..cuz i was busy.. hehe..sorrie kkk...miz u though..bb..

[[[i'll only love you faizal..n noone else will take over u..to win a place in my heart..even if an angel were 2 come n ask me..u're the onli one i need n want..but i reallie hope u wun betray the trust n love i filled u wid..i'll alwaez be here 4 u..love u more.........]]]

well..sorrie latiff..i made u slp until so late..well..i'm having my head problems agn..haiz...cannot tink too much..well..latiff..thnks 4 listening thru my nonsense..hehe..well..n thnks 4 being so caring 2wards me.. well...todae..so fun?..ok larhz..went wid [agn]his sis n niece..we went 2 the back..relax..laze ard..thn he came..i pretended i didn't notice him..can't be bothered tt kind..thn i keep on toking 2 his mum n stuff..thn my mum n dad tok 2 him..well..thn he went up..thn i also went up..thn tt baby force me 2 lepak wid her at the hall...the lift lobby there..so sat there..thn i n baby kecik went to his grannie hse..
he heard my voice..he came out..thn i juz walked past him..thn i carried amelia..went to the hall..sit ard..thn kak hasnah ask us 2 follow her dwn n tc of amelia n played at the playgrd...thn they sebok2 came dwn also..thn me n baby they all..sat on the bridge..thn gt this 2 mat malaysia..tok 2 us..ask us 2 help thm take pic..so i help..thn still can flirt ard..haha..yeah..ask our names n stuff.. yeah..thn later we went to play at the playgrd 4 awhile..thn he sebok2 wanted 2 take amelia..wadever lah..yeah..thn tok 2 latiff on the phone 4 awhile..thn make him slp until so late..i feel so bad..sorrie latiff...kk bb..

i'm still up at this late hrs..blame his sis ah..haha..nia mine..well..
todae..ok lah..quite well..yesterdae nite..took 5 pills n 1 slping pill..i went totally bongkas..thn..next dae..my whole body aching.. sick siahz..yeah..thn i laze ard wid my mummie..n his mummie..sit n tok..i managed to make his mummie 2 love me..pheww...wasn't so hard on his mum..it was a breeze 4 his aunt[my godsis]..n his sis..ermz...it's gonna be even harder wid the bro glam...ermz..his grandparents??tink shld be done soon..haiz..yeah..saw him..pretended tt i didn't notice his presence..thn i pulled his sis[baby] out n went to my hse..played the comp 4 awhile..thn stupid modem went bongkas..so we went dwn instead..brought the thing..i stole frm daddie..n went to puff at the back..hehe..nothy me..thn later on..his nephew sms his sis...tt she gt caught by the police..cuz run awae mah..yeah..thn i had 2 share a bicycle wid my godsis's fiance..scarie siah..but ok lah..he was pretty gd at cycling..so i relax n trusted him..yeah..thn after tt..reached the station..bailed her out..saw this cute policeman..me n his sis was like..eh he's mine..no he's mine..noooo...he's mine!!..haha..but in the end..we didn't even bother abt him..haha..well..yeah..thn nw onli i reached my hse..lepak2 at his grannie hse..brought my laptop..n juz laze ard..tok..eat..drink..tok..mostly toking lah huh..hehe..yeah.. guess tt's all..bb..gd nite..eh no..gd morning..hehe..

well..todae life was gr8 at first..but things juz gt worst...izzit my fault..am i lucky..at least gwen was there 2 tok to me..well..why.. izzit juz me agn..am i being 2 immature..no..i tink..it's the problem wid having an older guy as a stead..haiz..nvm..it's my own fault..nw i'll try 2 fix my own relationship..well..maybe this is wad i get 4 hurting the mat motor's feeling..ermz...but it's nt my fault wad..they like me..but i dun like thm as in tt wae..haiz...why they like me also i dunnoe...am i tt attractive..no lah..cannot be..maybe they r juz blind...haiz..kk..i gtg..

why do i fl so scared?why am i so afraid..i reallie dun undrstd...i fl like i'm in this precious balloon..n if any wrg move..the balloon will juz burst..n i'll fall into some cruel world..where ppl dun gif a shit abt u n stuff..haiz..i fl so bad..it's like..he's there..nvr meet up wid gerls or wadever shit..while i dwn here..had a crush on some mat motor..flirt ard wid guys n stuff..haiz...i fl so shitty..but i keep on repeating it..haiz..our relationship..is nt even on the rock lorhz..
n tt mat motor..said he's on the rock wid his gerl...n mite anytime break wid his gf...but the prob is..he tld baby..he like one of us.. tt came 2 mit him..but he wun tell who..until he break wid his gf.. haiz..4get it larh..i noe i love my bf n onli my bf..tts it!!

Do I
by Carla Marie Adair

Do I dare hold this Rose so close to my soul,
Do I dare save this Kiss I want to place?
Do I dare shelter these feelings deep in my heart,
Do I dare hide them, selfishly, until I do part?

Do I dare reach to touch you and watch you pull away,
Do I choke on my feelings and silently walk away?

How do I deal with the feelings I feel?
I want so much to share them with you,
Instead my soul, within, feels so lonely and blue.

You're here in body but... your spirt is gone,
the person you once were seemed to go away,
I do in my heart hope he returns someday.

I miss you so dearly, I just want you near,
the tears that run down my cheek are for only you,
So sweet, so shy, so meek.

So, darling, if you hear my cry just know,
with your heart my soul will go.

my god...arghh..tt mat motor is darn hot siahz...haiz..*melts..abbas.. haiz..baby luckily went to mit him siahz..haha..met tt cutie at sae ard 12 sth..haha..they r so cute..mat motors..haha..well..tt two idiot baby kecik and baby besar..i had 2 do most of the toking 2 the mats.. haha..but i dun mind..hehe..thn i ask 4 tt ciggar..n he gaf me..wah.. haha..he's darn swit..haha..loves his voice..kk..well..i hope tomoro or the dae after tomoro can go n mit thm agn..happie siah..hehe..yeah..
oh my..i'm so sorrie..i'm attach..hehe..haiz..todae the whole dae..nia tok 2 latiff..thn tt faizal also another one..maybe he went off early..
maybe he gt sth on..haiz..nvm larhz..thn if wanna mit..muz mit at home..if this mat motor..sure can go out one..hehe..nt like tt faizal..
mit at hm onli..urghhh...we dun even go out at all siahz..or maybe he's bz..nvm..i'm undrstding..hehe..my god..n tt fendi..siaowz..he likes me..haha..sorrie..i'm attach..n i'll onli be true to him n noone else..:P:Ptoo bad...go after baby besar sudah...she's in love wid u.. haha..kk..tts all 4 todae?or tonitE?hahahahaha..had so much fun todae..:):):)

my god..latiff..u reallie shock me..haiz..well..in my relationship..it hv its up n dwn..n i dun tink i'm up 2 it 4 any break..its juz our 20 daez..n i still love him..a lot..n yeah..thnks 4 saying n trusting tt he loves me..but u shock me by saying those things..haiz..i'm nt sure if anyone can replace his place?..even if u wanted 2..u're a swit guy n everything..but ur heart isn't into me..i can tell..dun juz try 2 make me happie..in return u hurt urself..i noe wad u mean..by those werds..but i tink..me n faizal..isn't even in a tiff..juz tt..i feel tt at times..he treat me differently..tts all..maybe he gt his reason..
maybe he's still angrie abt tt dae incident..it's my fault..yeah..well,
thnks 4 tt tot though..thnks 4 being so caring towards me..n thnks agn 4 everything k..

well..todae..headache siahz..haha..at 7.30am..i went out of my hse..n went to dover mrt station..went to singapore poly..had sum accounts thing which sis jo planned 4 us..some bussinessman talk thing..yeah.. so went to dover control station..waiting 4 kelly,shaheen,gwen n sister jo..yeah..thn kelly came first..sms to shaheen..she still at hm..n the time is 8.15am..i was like..wahliaoz..we're gonna be late siahz..cuz we supposed 2 be at the theater by 8.30am..thn we waited n waited..until 8.36am..sister jo came..she said..we aren't late..the opening session is frm 8.30am to 9.30am..thn i was..like sister jo..u make me wake until so early 4 wad..hrmmpphhh...thn we waited 4 awhile 4 shaheen..thn in the end..we went dwn 1st..waited 4 tt 2 princesses so long 1..thn in the end..me sister jo n kelly went in 1st..inside the theater..i look ard..2 unfamiliar faces..i gt terrified..thn i turn 2 sister jo..sister jo lead the wae 2 our seats..thn i sat..thn the two princesses onli came at sae..10 sth..which was like sae 1/2hr late??..haha..yeah..thn sister jo keep on making me laugh..thn summore the lecturer toking she still can tell me jokes..but funnily enuf.. todae i cld control my laughter better..haha..thn gt this grp of sickening mats at the back of shaheen n me..thn they keep on throwing comments on us..thn me n sha will answer back..haha..but we nvr look at each otha one..we juz keep on toking n irritating each othas..thn in the end..they keep on calling my name..sick guys...IMMATURE GUYS!!!

life todae wasn't bad lah...he called me..haha..i love u..

Safura
Rindu Ku Semakin Kuat

Semenjak kita saling jatuh cinta
Di dalam hati berbunga kerinduan
Semakin hari semakin rasa sayang
Tak daya rasanya berjauhan darimu...
Rindu tak tertahan...

Aku rindu senyumanmu
Dan kurindu suara romantismu
Kurasakan oh bahagia
Bila kita bersama

Seksanya Penantian...
Pabila engkau tiada...
Engkaulah kekasih hati

Kuingin selalu denganmu
Agar terlepas rindu ini

Adakah kau merasakan
Sentuhan rindu ini
Sentiasa di hatimu

( korus )
Semakin hari semakin kuat
Rindu... Rindu... Rinduku ini
Tak tertahan menanggung
Semakin hari semakin kuat

Cinta Cinta Cintaku ini...
Tak sanggup aku berpisah
Sayang

Adakah kau merasakan
Sentuhan rindu ini
Sentiasa di hati mu

Kekasih yang aku sayang
Sambutlah rindu ini
Sebagai kesetiaan...

haha...tt latiff ah..:Phaha..tok 2 him on the phone..headache siahz.. keep on making me laugh..haha..n thnks 4 saying my voice swit..haha..
well..i can't call u every nite..siaow ah..haha..onli my bf can..haha..
yeah..n thnks 4 downloading tt selena song...so swit..haha..:Pbuaiz.. missing my darling so much..haiz...eventhough he had called me..haha.. tomoro daddie home..hw 2 mit..haiz..sick lah..nvm..

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
would you see what's inside
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far all I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day
And the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do!

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

corazon
I can't stop dreaming of you
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
I can't stop dreaming
Como te necesito
I can't stop dreaming of you
Mi amor, como te extrano

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said I love you
I love you too!

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly

==FIRST==

First best friend: Forgt..but i noe it's at k1..
First date: at sec 3??serious one larhz..
First break-up: nopez..
First self purchased album: ???

First funeral: none
First pets: cat
First piercing/tattoo: 2mths
First play/musical/performance: k2
==CURRENT==

Current best friend:pilar
Current marital status: attached
Current song playing: in my head..superstar
Current thoughts: abt him
Current emotions: afraid
Current status online: online..
Current wonder: wad is he gonna tok abt 2moro..
Current instrument played: ermz..i dun play intruments..
Current need: be wif him...
==LAST==

Last cigarette: yesterdae..
Last kiss: 3 daez ago...
Last good cry: yest??
Last movie seen: honey
Last beverage drank: sprite ice
Last food consumed: apple
Last crush: him..
Last phone call: pilar?or was it him??
Last tv show watched: news..
Last time showered: 3pm
Last shoes worn: do u count slippers?
Last cd played: onli radio leh...hmmm
Last item bought: drink
Last annoyance: myself
Last ice cream eaten : mac's cone..
Last time wanting to die: a mth ago..
last shirt worn: red shirt..
Last website visited : blogspot..

why does my heart feel this wae???why do i feel so insecure..can i trust him?does he reallie mean wad he said..haiz..god help me..am i worrying unnecessarily?..haiz..why muz it be me suffering...haiz..i tink i am being unreasonable..but i dun wanna trust him fully n get hurt in the end..haiz..wad am i to do???haiz..forget it larhz..i shall juz heck care..n pretend he was nvr in my life..isn't tt wad my life is made of??lies?pretence n fake...wadever...

yest..the whole dae..nia meet him..haha..purposelie one..i noe he's dwnstairs but i purposely dun wanna go dwn..haha..make him miss me.. well..he can't contact me and stuff..so he gt no otha choice..haha.. yeah..maybe todae..later on..can meet him at kak kam's place..or maybe nt..haiz..dunnoe larhz..haiz..it hv been 12 daez..my god..haha..n so far..i've nt cried once..haiz..hope it will remain tt wae..haiz..at least he doesn't force me..haiz..well...i guess tts all..muakz..

well..hmm...let's count..hw many daez..11 daez..3 more daez to our 2 wks..haiz..time sure flies..but there's alot of things in my mind nw.. haiz..actuallie..i'm afraid n confused abt loads of things..1st my relationship wid him...i dunnoe whether my parents will ever accept him..haiz..my dad is so keen on tt malaysian guy..keep on calling him his son-in-law..n stuff..i'm afraid siahz..wad if me n izal is going well n we tell our families thn our families can't accept it..i dunnoe wad will i do..n i dare nt tink of wad he'll do..haiz..n summore he's a boyan..and me anak mami..haiz..there's gonna be a lot of conflict n rival in our love..haiz..hope both of us can take it..haiz..all the rumours n craps ppl will tok..haiz..*sobs*

Nora
Simpleton
Love-less
21 to be!

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breaking dawn,

Layout Helena
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