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Sunday, February 15, 2004
haiz..todae went out wif lala..joey..saedz..jasmine n my cousin..rosma..so fun can..we were at orchard thn..saw joey..she gaf me this very cute looking doll.. n a freaking long letter..thnks joey..so swt of u..hehe..n we went 2 eat at far east plaza..thn went 2 take neoprints..quite nice..my cousin is alwaez bullying me..hrmphhh..nuffair!!!..nvm..but it was so fun..thn jasmine had 2 go n queue 4 mtv thing..and saedz had 2 go n meet chris n ppl..thn left me..joey..
lala..n my cuz..we went 2 cineleisure..[however u spell it]..n took studio photo
the one lala n joey took so nice can...haha..lala so CHIO..haiz...yeah..thn we went 2 eat ice cream..thn lala made this very nice keychain..wif her n joey pic on it..so swt..haha...thn joey gaf lala n t shirt..n a bunch of roses..thn we went out..we wanted 2 take pics at youth park there...but me n my cuz was disgusted by the mats there..so we crossed the road..n took pics at the place where it saez youth park..so nice..we tk loads of pics..wif me n joey..thn lala n joey..haiz...i sure gonna miz joey..thn we all went back into the studio to take our pics..turn out 3 be gr8 can..me n lala together wif joey n my cuz..thn we cldn't wait so decided 2 go hm..me n my cuz..lala n joey stayed..so i hugged joey for the last time..n hug lala gdbye..and went off..i was close 2 tears..but held thm back..nw my tears can't stop..its running dwn..like raindrops..
i am being seperated frm 3 ppl..one is joey coz she is going overseas..n 2nd is my favourite neighbour..whom i already treat like godmother..n i love her so much..thn my parents nt allowing me to be close 2 her..the last one is my fav auntie n family including abg sari..haiz..why is my parents like this..they noe i luv thm a lot..n yet they purposely had 2 make me suffer..n dun be wif anybody i like..i alwaez hv 2 do wad they sae..everyone i love or get close 2.. there's alwaez their reasonings n faults..i wonder y..haiz..i can't take it lorhz.. they r fucking so pverprotective..haiz..juz forget it larhz..can't be bothered already..they treat me like i am sum doll wif no feelings..they angrie they venge their anger on me..they sad..they make me feel guilty..they happie..they force me to be happie like thm..sumtimes i dunnoe who the real person i am..i am so confused..feels like i am in this cage where all my feelings n relationships is being controlled..haiz..i feel like some robot..like a dumbo..i feel afraid 2 face the world..coz i feel so lowly of myself..i feel like i am some stupid gerl..who onli noes hw to put her brains in studies but nt in reality..i am afraid 2 face this werld where everyone noes theirselves..i am forced to do be all this..n i feel..like i am a gd 4 nuthing..n i am juz here in the werld to bring misfortune 2 others...adding 2 their burdens...making ppl's life miserable..n sad..n alwaez make ppl's life full of complication..n destroying ppl's relationship..i am a useless girl..who juz nie hw 2 eat n waste ppl's money..all this are facts..i am stating facts!!!!*cries*why can't i be like others?they hv such gr8 life..loving n undrstding parents..problems tt can be solved.. haiz..
